I never knew how hard being a mom was until I became one. I’ve taken care of children for half of my life. When I was 17 I got a job at a daycare center where I worked for 5 years. When I left there I went to work in the public school system. After 15 years working with children full time plus all of the hours I’ve spent babysitting, I still struggle.
I don’t know how women who have no experience with children or child care bring a baby home from the hospital and are able to raise it. I feel like I’ve done so many thing wrong over the 6 years I’ve had Anika. I often beat myself up, agonizing over a decision I’ve made or an action I’ve taken. I try so very hard not to make the same mistakes others have made. I look at the way a child acts as a reflection of the kind person that parent is. Anika has taught me that that’s not always the case. I believe personality determines how a child behaves as much as their upbringing does. Still there are times when I try too hard to have the perfect child. In doing so I feel like I have missed many fun moments we could have shared together. It’s like I can’t ever completely let my guard down and just enjoy a moment with her. I’m always conscious of how she is behaving.
As single parent I make all of the decisions, which being the control freak that I am, I like. The thing I don’t like is being the only one saying no. I have to handle all of the discipline myself too, which always makes me the mean one.
All that I can do is my best and pray that it is good enough.
~Kel
I don’t know how women who have no experience with children or child care bring a baby home from the hospital and are able to raise it. I feel like I’ve done so many thing wrong over the 6 years I’ve had Anika. I often beat myself up, agonizing over a decision I’ve made or an action I’ve taken. I try so very hard not to make the same mistakes others have made. I look at the way a child acts as a reflection of the kind person that parent is. Anika has taught me that that’s not always the case. I believe personality determines how a child behaves as much as their upbringing does. Still there are times when I try too hard to have the perfect child. In doing so I feel like I have missed many fun moments we could have shared together. It’s like I can’t ever completely let my guard down and just enjoy a moment with her. I’m always conscious of how she is behaving.
As single parent I make all of the decisions, which being the control freak that I am, I like. The thing I don’t like is being the only one saying no. I have to handle all of the discipline myself too, which always makes me the mean one.
All that I can do is my best and pray that it is good enough.
~Kel
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